Await

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“Changeless and calm, deep mystery. Ever more deeply, rooted in Thee”

Gerald May

Await is the first gesture in Julian of Norwich’s body prayer. It is so relevant to my journey as I stand each morning facing the rising sun and initiate my body prayer with this gesture. I await with my hands by my sides at my waist, cupped up to receive: and I await G*d’s presence, not as I expect, hope, or imagine, but just as it is in the moment. 
I am present there through a physical commitment. Inwardly, I know that I am more than my physical being, my emotion, and my mind. There is a spiritual dimension of my being that is enriched, expanded and uplifted through this kinesthetic process. Deep within me, I lightly touch a sense that all of life is one. This sense enlivens as my heart opens to hold it and slowly, subtle energies of a less familiar inner world surface. A world where there are no obstacles, bindings, nor separations.

I stand and await a growing awareness of my part in a pulsating presence and energy of life. It is as if I am seed awaiting birth through some sacred source and somehow, I know my purpose as a seed can only be revealed if I am sown. So, I await my place in the soil of my worldly experience tentatively, confiding and believing that who I am unfolds from within. My gesturing prayer becomes part of a natural milieu that kinesthetically cultivates this essential inner seed. May my daily practice of awaiting each morning, lead me to live a life that manifests this sacred truth.

This is a challenging and new way of praying and opening myself. There are moments when I am bound by my physical being, and struggle to connect with my own process – times when I long ‘to know this light’ in my deepest parts and do not. And yet, this too is part of the journey yearning to be touched anew and to confidently feel a sacred veriditas rising from deep within. I do not await passively; as I await, I imagine, I long for the reconciling, transforming, aliveness of God throughout my being and my life. Still, I know that this inner process will travel paths and causeways other than my ‘ego self-image’ imagines… perhaps when,

“I live no longer; not I, but God lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).

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