“Changeless and calm, deep mystery. Ever more deeply, rooted in Thee”
Await is the first gesture in Julian of Norwich’s body prayer. It is so relevant to my journey as I stand each morning facing the rising sun and initiate my body prayer with this gesture. I await with my hands by my sides at my waist, cupped up to receive: and I await G*d’s presence, not as I expect, hope, or imagine, but just as it is in the moment. I am present there through a physical commitment. Inwardly, I know that I am more than my physical being, my emotion, and my mind. There is a spiritual dimension of my being that is enriched, expanded and uplifted through this kinesthetic process. Deep within me, I lightly touch a sense that all of life is one. This sense enlivens as my heart opens to hold it and slowly, subtle energies of a less familiar inner world surface. A world where there are no obstacles, bindings, nor separations.
I stand and await a growing awareness of my part in a pulsating presence and energy of life. It is as if I am seed awaiting birth through some sacred source and somehow, I know my purpose as a seed can only be revealed if I am sown. So, I await my place in the soil of my worldly experience tentatively, confiding and believing that who I am unfolds from within. My gesturing prayer becomes part of a natural milieu that kinesthetically cultivates this essential inner seed. May my daily practice of awaiting each morning, lead me to live a life that manifests this sacred truth.
This is a challenging and new way of praying and opening myself. There are moments when I am bound by my physical being, and struggle to connect with my own process – times when I long ‘to know this light’ in my deepest parts and do not. And yet, this too is part of the journey yearning to be touched anew and to confidently feel a sacred veriditas rising from deep within. I do not await passively; as I await, I imagine, I long for the reconciling, transforming, aliveness of God throughout my being and my life. Still, I know that this inner process will travel paths and causeways other than my ‘ego self-image’ imagines… perhaps when,
“I live no longer; not I, but God lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).