I awaken everyday in gratitude for the gift of the new day. I light a candle on my bedside table and ‘take a moment’ to remember that all of creation, including me, dwells in You. I breathe in and I breathe out, and I pray that opening myself to what may be will be as natural as my in-breath, and that releasing myself to You will be as natural as my out-breath. It is a small miracle breathing, and it reminds me of how simply I truly ‘know’ surrender as the action that leads to something wonderful – my next in-breath! How can something so simple be so complex? How is it that I know this and still struggle with trusting in this?
Tuesdays I visit my hospice patients and in some cases, I provide Reiki. I find my morning still time helps prepare me and hold me as I enter my visits. Being present and aware helps me avoid entering these moments in a rote or routine way – always a temptation with anything that is done regularly. Compartmentalizing and managing are skills I have perfected from childhood through my career as an educator/administrator. In my case, they became ways to cope with feeling overwhelmed and alienated by the very system I participate in. The systems I worked in somehow seemed to strangle my authenticity.
Recently, one of my Reiki patients expressed concern that the peace she received in the Reiki treatment meant that I was absorbing her negative energy. I assured her it was not the case. However, her concern inspired me to look into that whole notion. Indeed, that led me to some personal strategies and practices that can ensure that I am attending to myself even as I offer Reiki to another. I shared this process with my patient. The interesting thing is that her expression of concern awakened me further. I recognized that without care, I might inadvertently bring routine to these visits. And now, I am awake to the ways in which I have internalized systematic living and how facily it can creep into whatever I am doing.
So, now like breathing in awareness, I approach my visits more fully present. I use two practices – one – a gesturing Reiki prayer(Barnett/Newton) and the other – a prayer for presence.(Rupp)
Cross your hands over your heart “I am the light”
Put one hand on top of the other just below the navel “ The light is within me.”
Make a spiral with your right arm down your body. .” The light moves throughout me.”
Spread arms and legs out “The light surrounds me.”
Starting with both hands together in front in the prayer position, reach up and around, forming a heart. “ The light protects me.”
Cross your hands over your heart. “ I am the light.”
I renew my life’s purpose of being faithful to our co-creation. I give you my openness trusting that you will lead me on paths meant to help me grow. I re-commit my intention to listen to you in all of life. I promise you my presence and awareness that I may be an instrument of your love. I give you my loyal heart. May I do all in the circle of your wisdom and learn from your dance of compassion in every corner of this universe.
It is another small miracle, Tuesday. It reminds me that I am meant to be fully alive. It shows me that in my heart I ‘know’ this truth. I am here to be fully human, fully present in this wild life of mine. My deepest, most authentic self ‘knows’ this paradox – the more I surrender to the one I authentically am – the more I become one with all that is. The invisible is always present in the visible. I encounter this paradox each day I begin anew in You